9 Steps to the Perfect Proposal

Thinking about proposing to your significant other? Then now’s the time to start preparing.

Proposals are (usually) a one-time affair, so you want to make sure you get yours right (and increase the chances she’ll say yes).

So before you pop the question, here’s what you need to do:

Make sure you and your partner are on the same page.

Though the proposal may be a surprise, you still want to have talked about marriage with your partner beforehand.

Discuss marriage casually to see if your significant other is open to the idea. If she’s not, proposing could be awkward and disappointing.

Of course, marriage can be a difficult subject to broach. So go about it sensitively and perhaps start by commenting on recent proposals of friends or married couples you both know.

Talk to her parents.

It may seem old-fashioned, but you should talk to your partner’s parents before proposing to her.

This doesn’t need to be formal. Just find a time when you can talk to them both alone and say how you love their daughter and would like to marry her.

Some parents will grant their blessing. Others won’t feel the need to. But if nothing else, it’s a nice gesture that shows you want to involve them.

Get the engagement ring.

It’s not a proposal without a ring. Even if you don’t have enough money for a diamond ring, there are many different affordable options out there. If you’re extremely low on money, you could even make her one.

Whatever you do, make sure you put a lot of thought into it, as she’ll (hopefully) wear her engagement ring every day for the rest of her life. But you can always upgrade the ring when you have more money, too.

Don’t forget to verify your partner’s ring size. If the proposal is a secret, you can ask her family or friends to find out what it is for you (and you can always get the ring resized later if you end up a size off).

If you get a diamond ring, educate yourself on the four Cs of diamonds: cut, color, clarity, and carat. This will help you evaluate different ring options.

Also, check out your partner’s other jewelry to get a sense of her style.

Once you have the ring, keep it somewhere safe until you propose so it doesn’t get lost, stolen, or damaged.

Choose the location.

Choosing where you propose will have a huge impact on how you remember the event later on in life. So be thoughtful about it.

You could propose in the company of family and close friends, at a beautiful scenic spot (think the beach at sunset or the top of a mountain), in public (e.g. at a sports event in front of the kiss cam), or at a sentimental place that holds special meaning for both of you (e.g. where you had your first date).

Whatever you do should be well planned out. And, of course, be sensitive to what you think your partner would most appreciate. If she doesn’t like to be put in the spotlight, perhaps opt for an intimate setting with just the two of you. But if you think she’ll appreciate having her family and friends there to celebrate, you might want to do it with them.

Decide what you’ll say.

What you say leading up to “will you marry me?” is really up to you. But you should have an idea of what it’ll be beforehand.

Why? If you’re the kind to fumble over your words when you get nervous, it might ruin the moment. Of course, your partner may find it endearing, too.

But generally, envisioning what you will say is a good idea. It doesn’t have to be fancy or long, but it should be thoughtful. Maybe tell them when you first knew that they were “the one” or tell them how you want to spend the rest of your life with them.

That said, avoid having it sound too scripted. Keep it simple.

Have a photographer on standby.

This is by no means a requirement, but chances are you’ll want to document this moment (and your fiancé’s new ring) in photos to look back on later.

While you can always take a selfie together, you may want shots from a few different angles, including a full-body shot. In that case, it helps to have a friend or family member on standby to document the occasion. To keep the proposal a surprise, you can have them hide until after you’ve popped the question.

Hide the ring.

Similarly, you should carry the engagement ring somewhere it won’t be detected.

Your pant pocket is probably a bad idea since it will likely bulge out. Try to hide it somewhere she won’t notice, like in a backpack or a thick coat pocket.

Plan a celebration.

Planning up to the proposal isn’t enough. You should also plan how you’ll celebrate afterward.

You could go out to eat at your favorite restaurant and make sure to include a bottle of Champagne to share with your new fiancée or have some close friends and family waiting to celebrate with you at home, again make sure you have plenty of bottles of bubbly to celebrate your engagement.

Again, consider what your partner will most enjoy and base your plans on that.

Wait until the moment is right.

Lastly, no matter how much you prepare, nothing ever goes 100% according to plan.

The weather might change for the worse, you or your partner might have something come up last minute, or you could get stuck in traffic.

So be flexible and have a backup plan. Above all, wait to propose until the moment is right. Don’t rush or force it just because you’re trying to keep to a schedule. Let it develop naturally.

Final thoughts

Getting engaged is an exciting thing. It’s the beginning of a lifetime together with your partner.

To make it special, thoughtfully plan it by following the guidelines above. Then let the rest of the magic happen on its own.